FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - FILM REVIEW (BOOK 1)

Bum smackingly good but still left wanting. 

The opening scenes seem quite Indie. Focusing on Christian getting dressed and choosing a grey suit and tie. Ana is rushing around to get to work, surrounded by grey cars, buildings etc it drops you nicely into their world... 50 shades of grey. 

We sat next to French Canadian teacher who currently teaches in Egypt. She was seeing it on her own as she was in town due to work commitments at our University. She said it would never be shown in Egypt so she was taking the opportunity to see it before she flies out in the morning.  She didn't like the book but enjoyed the film.

First thing you all want to know is, how rude is it? 

I've seen far more graphic sex scenes and violence in Game of Thrones, Sons of Anarchy, True Blood and most recently Outlander.  

The sex scenes are very short and more artistic that pornographic. If you watch this GIF you have basically seen it all. 

There are no butt plugs, dildos or kinky fuckery. There is a tie on the wrists, some rope tied to the bed, shackled wrists, blind fold, peacock feather tickles, quick flick of a flogger, ice cube on a nipple, light smacks with a riding crop, a bum smack or two, and a belt across the bum. Hardly BDSM... more vanilla sex with a bit of spice. 

Don't expect this... you won't get it. 

Dakota Johnson... is she well cast as Ana?

Absolutely. She was fantastic, believable and far more beautiful on screen than any pictures I've seen circulating of her. She is alluring, sensual and projects an aura of innocence and gentility, that I could easily see someone like Christian Grey being attracted to when choosing a Sub.

She is not scared to writhe around and moan... she never has an orgasm on screen as it is more 'alluded to' sex then watching it. She has a cracking figure and is at ease with the naked scenes, as is Jamie.

She plays the character stronger than the book version of Ana. There is a lot of back story which isn't portrayed on screen so some of her choices seems misplaced. I think the Director is assuming the viewers know the books and can fill it in for themselves. 

Jamie Dornan... is he Christian Grey? 

Not only is he ridiculously good looking in a grey suit and has an amazing physic, but he seems quite at home with the Dom role, which sets the viewer at ease. There is no awkwardness when seeing or touching Ana (Dakota). He makes it believable, as he ties a knot, rips open condoms with his teeth and smacks a bum... all without harming Ana. 

He doesn't spend the entire film glaring, like the character in the book, and there are several scenes where you get to see the Christian that Ana falls in love with. He has a sense of humour and while he is the little boy lost, you know that Ana will find him, if only he can let his guard down.

The ripped jeans they chose for him were a bit shit. They seem more Tesco value than designer. The scene where he walks in wearing them is so quick, if you blink you will miss it... here is it. There is nothing to explain their significance. 

I have to say the best scene in the film was the one I was most apprehensive about as I hated it in the book... the virginity scene. Dornan saves it. Not only does he manage to sort of 'prowl' when climbing on the bed, moving up between her legs, but his arse is to die for! I mean seriously look at it! 

Chemistry... do they have it?

Yes. Ana is sweet, coy and innocent. Christian is predatory, guarded and possessive. Both actors portray that well.

I don't think they kiss that well in the beginning, it is a bit 'hit and miss' but I liked that. Like all other relationships you get used to each other and kissing becomes more natural so by the end they are comfortable and it is sexier. 

I was thankful for the lack of 'Oh My' but noticed there were a few lip bites, eye rolls and I hate the 'Laters baby'... I fucking hate it. 

Verdict: 

All in all it was a good film. Not as good as the hype but I didn't expect it to live up to that... I mean what could? I don't think you need to rush to the cinema to see it. It's not like it's 3D and Christian big willy or whip is coming at you across the cinema. It can easily be a Netflix film. Wait for the DVD.

I look forward to seeing the next instalment. I won't rush to see it. 

I was amused that there were several men commenting afterwards that is wasn't as bad as they thought. Some women were relieved it wasn't as hardcore as they thought. These were the people who would slip down in their chairs when the sex scenes came on, only to pop back up and relax because it wasn't as RRated as they were led to believe by the rating and hype. The wedding scene in Outlander is far more graphic. 

I am just happy to see two good actors committing to the roles and bringing it to life. I am sure the author is delighted. My friends have asked when the next film is out as they want to see it. What more could an author hope for when their book is depicted on screen. 

Well done Dakota and Jamie.