FIFTY SHADES OF GREY v THE SUBMISSIVE (Twilight fanfiction)

I have been given the unenviable task of comparing two twilight fanfictions which are based on BDSM relationships. One is famous and the other is available this month via Amazon. 

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - E L JAMES

THE SUBMISSIVE - TARA SUE ME

For the record 'The Submissive' has a publishing deal now and will be available in Australia as an ebook 19 November 2012. To find out more you can add yourself to Tara’s new page on facebook. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Tara-Sue-Me/438931219497425

BACKGROUND

As many fans will know FSOG started life as a Twilight fan fiction, I remember reading it on fanfiction.net as 'Master of the Universe', back in 2009 I think. This was an original cover. Snowqueens Icedragon was E L James pen name.

I never liked the title as it always made me think of He-man. Look at the size of his sword! 

I am glad the title changed but was such a diverse change that I didn't realise it was MOTU until a friend pointed it out. It had been years since I read it on fanfiction.net and it has been edited several times so I was expecting to find it drastically changed, but other than the names... it hasn't really.

There were other stories on the site, one was called 'The Submissive' by Tara Sue Me (pen name). Here are her old covers.

I loved that theses books were written by a Twilight fans with a kinky twist, as I was suffering with a 'book hangover' from Twilight. I wanted 'more' and was pissed off that the sex scene in Twilight was skipped, so having heard about fans writing their own versions I thought 'yes let me read this smut'. I was not let down!

Tara wrote two more after 'The Submissive'. One called 'The Dominant' which is the submissive but from Edwards point of view and another called 'The Training' which I am sure you can work out for yourself. 

Now for those who don’t know....The Submissive was the book that many readers from fanfiction.net thought was FSOG. It easy to get them confused as there are some strong similarities in the story line e.g. BDSM and they are both Twilight fan fiction. Some people were vexed and shouting plagiarism from the roof tops. I was asked my opinion and I am writing it here. You don't have to agree and I may skip some important similarities so feel free to comment below and help out. I will refer to Bella and Edward from 'The Submissive' as (TS).

I also asked several friends to read both series, form their own opinion and feed back. They all started the same, 'wow they are very similar.' As the stories progressed they became less alike.

It goes on and on but there you have a quick summary from memory... The story lines are similar in some respects but vary drastically in others. Both are more like Twilight than each other.

Similarities

• Both were on Fanfiction.net at the same time.

• Both are trilogies. 

• Both have Bella as the sub and Edward the dom. 

• Both were Twilight Fanfiction. Names taken from Twilight series. Ana was originally called Bella and Christian was Edward. This was only changed when FSOG got published. The Submissive still has Bella and Edward until published.  

• Character descriptions were created by Stephanie Meyer as Twilight author so the physical characteristics are the same e.g. Bella and Ana are described the same as the original Bella including being clumsy. Christian and Edward (TS) are rich, moody, red heads in the fanfiction just like Edward is in Twilight. Yup gingers!

• Bella (TS) and Ana in the novels are both English Literature Majors.

• Both couples have ‘quote offs’ regarding poetry or famous authors that will make them sound intelligent.

• Bella in Twilight loves to read books especially Wuthering Heights. Ana and Bella (TS) in the fanfictions love Tess of the D’Urbervilles etc.

• Edward in Twilight hates Bella's truck and thinks its a death trap. He buys her a new car. Both men object to the girls choice of car, think its a death trap and get her a new one. 

• Edward in Twilight is considered by some to be controlling and possessive over Bella. Christian and Edward (TS) in the fanfiction are Dom’s.

• Bella in Twilight is considered by some to be obsessed/addicted to Edward where she will forgive him anything and do whatever he says. Ana and Bella (TS) are subs so it is pretty much a given.

• Bella prick teases Jacob in Twilight, she’s confused about whose willy she wants to play with the dead guy who dumped and left her heartbroken or the extra fluffy steroid fuelled wolf who is a gang member. Necrophilia or bestiality is a hard choice. In the fanfictions Ana has a friend Jose who loves her, obsessed with her and tries to kiss her. In the Submissive Bella gets off easy as Jacob is Edwards Husky dog. A dog who is aggressive to everyone but her, he loves her.

• Bella in Twilight works in the local store. Ana works in a hardware store. Bella (TS) works in a library.

• Bella in Twilight is given a make over by Alice, Edward sister. Ana and Bella (TS) both have Christian and Edwards sister in law a.k.a Alice to give them a make over and she is married to the Jasper character. They also have the Rosalie character who ends up in a relationship with Edwards brother e.g. the Emmett character from Twilight. 

• Edward is adopted and angst ridden in all versions. His adoptive parents are a successful and one is a doctor or a designer. Yup same in the other books.

• Edward in Twilight is rich, love sports cars, buys Bella a car or two, owns property all over the world. They go to his parents Island on his speedboat etc. Christian and Edward (TS) are also loaded and the CEO of a hugely successful companies as they are not teenagers. They have cars, flounce about on the private planes, helicopters and yachts and buy their girls everything. The girls object as did Bella but in the end they all think ‘oh well, I’ll get used to the money.’

• Edward plays piano mainly classical. Christian and Edward (TS) both play the classical piano. 

• Edward stalks Bella, he watches her sleep by climbing into her bedroom at night and saves her from being raped by drunk men in town after following her all day. Christian and Edward (TS) stalk the girls. Christian wins ‘stalker of the year’ for taking over Ana’s life completely.  He tracks her phone via GPS. This is her personal phone not the one he brought her... and had a background check done. He found out where she worked and turned up. He buys her a laptop, blackberry etc so he can get hold of her any time. He buys the company she works for so he is her boss! Edward (TS) has secretly been stalking Bella since he saw her in a library years ago whilst visiting his brother at Uni. He helped her mother out at the Bank so the house wasn’t repossessed which he found about from stalking. When she dumps him he follows her home to ensure she drives safely.

• Bella in Twilight has a mother who is described as childlike innocent. Ana’s mother is the same and Bella (TS) has a mother who can’t keep a roof over their heads. Throw in the step dad and you have it. 

Which is the kinkiest?

The Submissive has far more BDSM and yup than means flogging, spanking and full on ‘anal’. Not teasing his little finger up her poo pipe like Christian... full on anal with matching vibrator action.... yep DP (double penetration). There is bondage, punishment for talking back, safe words and a delightful assortment of playtime toys to get the readers heart racing.

(For the sake of argument I will refer to Dom’s as masculine and Females as submissive as that is what these books entail)

Who has the best toys and is ‘King Dom’?

Christian has the ‘red room of pain’... it has a more sinister dungeon feel about it. Several more kinky things to play with and be tied to. He plays music whilst you are blind folded to heighten your senses. He has staff that know you are getting fucked to your limits, and beyond which is a bit voyeuristic. He admits he has hurt someone before when tying them up too tight on the rack suspended from his ceiling. All of those things are pretty much ‘don’t hurt me you sexy bastard.... ok just a little.’ He wants you to sign a contract so he can dominate your life. Tells you when to cough, fart, burp or none of the above as they are not ladylike but you get my drift. He threatens a lot but never seems to quite make the Dom mark where Ana is concerned. Stalker and possessive, yes... Dom... Nah. Ana always manages to cry, glare or safe word her way out of the kinkier stuff so his ‘Domness’ is tamed in this series. I wanted some flash backs to kinkier times so I could see what he was really capable of.

Edward on the other hand has some toys and a bench he will tie you too. He spanks you for not sleeping the recommended hours a day or for not calling him ‘master’. Although he doesn’t have an armoury of bondage gear like Christian he will leave you with legs like Bambi and a bottom which looks and feels sunburnt. He won’t fuck you unless you are his Sub, you can suck his willy and he will play with your girly bits until you are doing an impression of a suffocating fish, but 'no fucking'. To have that pleasure you must be his sub. He gives you a trail weekend... do as you are told and you can be his sub, fuck it up and you will never have the pleasure of him denying you orgasms because you've just done it yourself by not doing as you are told. Bad sub! You’ll be crying whilst he is dialling ‘rent a sub’ to get you returned as faulty goods. 

Edward makes you sleep on the ground beside his bed. Yep, he has made you a palette to sleep on... what a considerate bastard! He tells you he will never let you sleep in his bed. End of... he will fuck you on it but you are his sub and as such you sleep on the floor where you belong. (WTF!) He will wake you to get back on the bed so he can fuck you again but other than that your place is on the floor. He has already told you how many times he wants you to make him cum tonight, 'one more' than the last sub. He has now made you competitive! (Nicely played). You go back to sleep ‘on the floor’ like a good little doggy... I mean sub. He will wake you again sometime later and fuck you once last time before sending you back to your room. This room has a single bed and stands as a reminder that he will never join you there. 

After a night of sleeping on the floor and being woke up for a fuck a few times, you are instructed to wake at sparrow fart in the morning to make his breakfast. He doesn’t provide you with an alarm clock (wanker!), you must guess the time by waking every so often to check your watch as you are not allowed to bring your phone. If you don’t have it ready on time, he will punish you. You are not permitted to talk to him unless it is at the table in the kitchen. No where else.... only the kitchen table, unless he gives you ‘permission’ to speak. The table is yours, ‘not the kitchen’ and you can only talk to him freely there. If you speak to him at his own table in the dining room, he will punish you and you are not to sit with him unless invited. You are not to make eye contact and not to leave the room until dismissed. You can only eat ‘what’ he tells you to eat, and ‘when’ he tells you to eat it. You will exercise to the programme he gives you to build up stamina and muscle strength. He does other things like approves what you wear, removes your panties before a family meal so he can fiddle with you under the table whilst idly chit chatting with his mother. You learn never to wear panties again as he wants easy access and if you do he will punish you! He even fucks you in the middle of a crowded stadium during a Bruce Springsteen performance at the Superbowl. 

Then to top it off Edward takes the 'King Dom' crown by doing something Christian with never do with Ana... no not tying her to a rack.... he collars Bella... yep collar, but it has a diamond on it so that’s ok. Well in Bella’s world it’s ok. In my world I panicked but not because he collared her, I just couldn’t imagine that necklace going with every outfit. What does a collar mean? A collar means she is his, off limits, she is to wear it at all times and it only comes off when he says so or at the end of the relationship/contract. She even sleeps in it, wears it to work and he only let her take it off when she went to the spa with his mother... out of consideration to his mother not her. 

So who wins.... Edward of course. 

What is a sub?

First of all lets understand there are different sorts of submissives and each author is writing about a different sub or their interpretation of a sub. Sometimes mixing and matching them as they experiment. There is no right or wrong. The characters wrote about in these books are discovering who they are. Trial and error so lets not be overly critical about fictional characters.

A sexual sub is a partner who gets gratification from submitting their personal choices to someone else which we have here. Masochistic submissives like the kinkier shit e.g. pain, humiliation and being victimised. If you see a porno where a girl is getting fingers rammed down her throat until she gags and her face slapped with a dick, she is one of these.

Most submissives I know are not submissive all the time, it is a bit like roleplay as it can very draining. You can often tell a sub or dom by jewellery items and most subs I know are very successful in their careers to the point of being dominant but when they get home they submit everything to their partner, its a cathartic release. One woman at work was a total bitch, her husband brought a gimp mask for a laugh one day and people joked that she whipped his balls blue. One look across the table from me and he knew I could tell she wore it not him. Plus it was obvious he tried to put it on whilst still wearing his glasses... rookie error!

Who wins Battle of the Subs?

Ana doesn’t want to be a Sub as she is a virgin and has never set eyes on a willy let alone touched one or been threatened with a good hard fucking from one. She meet Mr Bossy boots aka Christian who says crap like ‘I am going to fuck you hard’. She just wants to fall in love, have little ginger babies and live happily ever after. She doesn’t like bum smacking and being tied up.... well not at first but she does love a good ‘beading’ on a night out. That makes her a shit sub. A normal girl with the potential to spice things up a little, but a shit Submissive with no history to fall back on as reference to what sex is really like... well unless you count that creepy occasion where Christian takes her virginity like it was a hindrance. Realistically Christian was so possessive that to know another bloke hasn’t had a poke at her would have made his day! However, he was looking for a sub who knows how to shag so I give artistic license.

All doms say, ‘a submissive should know they are a submissive’. A dom does not want to make her into one. He is a male chauvinist whilst playing his Dom role so you can forget votes for women, he won’t even let you decide when to have a mood swing. He walks around like a rooster, hen pecking you. A dom is about rules and regulations, you must obey. He is your taskmaster.

Bella wins hands down as the Sub, and this is why! She finds out Edward is a Dom through a friend. She is interested in him as he helped her mother when they were losing the house years ago; she wants to pay him back in kind for getting them out of the shit with the bank. She has never been a Sub but thankfully, she is not a virgin. She puts in an application to the ‘pimp of subs’ but only to be Edwards sub no other Dom. She attends the interview and gets a trial as he is not convinced she will be a good sub so wants a trial run. Nob nibbling commences and as he makes his deposit down the back of her throat it eases the guilt she felt when her useless mother needed his help to keep their home. It doesn’t say that in the book but I felt that way when reading it, she has little respect for her mother and rarely mentions her. Edward helped with the bank so she in essence she becomes his ‘spank bank’.

Bella also gets props for not trying to change him. She knows he is a kinky fucker, she doesn’t mind pushing herself to the limits and uses the anal plug as advised to stretch herself so when they get down to the bum loving, her poo hole doesn’t go all... ‘intruder alert, intruder alert’. She is willing to learn and trusts him whereas Ana doesn’t trust old twitchy palm so that means the sexual exploration will be less adventurous.

The only massively stupid thing Bella does is forgets rule number one in ‘An idiots guide to becoming a submissive,’ don’t expect him to love you just because he is nice to you on one occasion and it feels like he’s made love to you as opposed to having an angry wank in your fanny. She made the mistake of submitting her heart as well as her body. She throws a girly strop and safe words. End of relationship.... exits Miss Piggy style to the car.

Safe Words

If a submissive and a dom are not well matched it will all go tits up. The sub will be overpowered and it leads to heartache. When you are bound and gagged like a roast pig ready to be stuck with his choice of implement, you need to know you can trust him. If not you are fucked and not in a good way. His idea of fun might not be yours. His perception of you enjoying it could be way off the mark and as such ‘safe words’ are used. If you are gagged a signal.

Ana gets given the standard safe words Red, Amber, Green which stand for ‘Go, slow, NO!’ It is the traffic light system of ‘kinky fuckery’.

Bella is given ‘Turpentine’. It ‘strips’ him of his Dom duties like paint thinner. Bella's word means ‘relationship over’, say it and you leave. We never see each other again.

Both words are something the reader wants to hear said aloud at some point by the character. They are as keen to know the girls limits as the Dom’s are.

Most subs I know are given the traffic light words for sexual exploration or the word ‘banana’ as it is easy to say when gagged. However, when calling it quits they have always gone back to the person who arranged the interview for them to be a sub and get themselves a new dom. Meanwhile the contractor breaks the news to the old Dom and shoves a new sub at them who is more suited to meet their needs based on feedback from the old. Some are even given counselling to see where things went wrong. They pay for this service. It’s like online/blind dating but mainly it’s an honest expectation of the sexual relationships they want which is put into a contract for a specific period of time. For the record most Dom’s I know are women! And most relationship/contracts are ended by the Dom not the sub.

I had hoped that FSOG was 'The Submissive'

I enjoyed it as a piece of work without feeling sorry for Bella because in the Submissive it is was her choice. Bella went willingly to an interview for the role of Edwards submissive. In FSOG Ana was interviewing Christian for a friend who was sick.

The submissive was the first Dom/Sub book I enjoyed as fan fiction. Most were just scenes/one shots but this was a story and I really enjoyed it. Edward Cullen in 'The Submissive' is a sexy bastard with an ‘I will fuck your pussy off your hips’ attitude. After reading about him, I felt Christian was a poor imitation.  He never quiet became the Dom for me. There was a glimmer of hope when he carried out the crop spanking, finger up your poo pipe whilst I tie you up etc but that is not a Dom. He was tamed by Ana which reminded me of Beauty and the Beast.

Edward on the other hand makes no excuses, he is a Dom and if Bella doesn’t like it she can safe word and leave.

Ana safe worded after a spanking because she was scared Christian would hurt her. Bella safe words when she realises Edward is a dick. How did he react? He offered to recommend her to other Dom’s. Yep a reference in ‘Fuckery’ and confirmation that he is a dick. It is a bit like you saying ‘we’re finished’ and he says ‘we weren’t really going out we were fuck buddies, but if you want, I can recommend your pussy to my mates.’ It is an OMG you bastard moment. Personally I would have ripped his balls off and used the sack as a coin purse but Bella thought it a kind offer but declined whilst she rushed off to the car feeling worthless.

Who won BDSM Twilight battle and is there a case for plagiarism?

I have to say I prefer 'The Submissive' and I had already queried with other readers whether FSOG could face a copyright issue as it was very similar. It was almost as though FSOG was a fanfiction of 'The Submissive' and not Twilight but that is only because I read it first, had I read FSOG first I would be thinking the same of the Submissive. 

I feel 'True Sue me' could be justified in saying 'Hey, at least give me a shout out' but I have witnessed E L James giving support to writing friends online. She got lucky... ok the edit was shit but I'll come to that in my review of FSOG which I'll post after as a separate blog. So whilst people say The submissive should get a cut of the money, both are so close to Twilight that Stephanie Meyer should have a piece of the royalties. I have friends who couldn’t get into the Submissive or FSOG as it was too Twilight.

Examples of how it is a Twilight Fan fiction for those of you still in denial...  http://fiftyshadesofplagiarism.blogspot.co.uk/

Either way imitation is the best form of flattery. I don’t know which was written first FSOG or the Submissive because I read them both years ago, Submissive first then MOTU. I just thought it was a genre fans were covering e.g. BDSM Twilight and had been inspired by each other. 

Above all I think you have to ask the question, can you copyright Fanfiction?

These books are all Twilight characters, with name changes... I don't care! I like them. I like to read them, discuss them with mates and find the bits I wish I could delete, discuss the naughty bits and pass them on to the next person to read. 

I will end this 'Book-off' by pointing out that there are several other Twilight fanfiction authors who are out there. Some have secure seven figure deals including this one...

Many of you will now know it as....the one where Bella goes to University and has an affair with her professor... Edward Masen.

So check it out. I am sure there are many more to come. I enjoyed reading them and have been keeping an eye out. Whenever I see one and it's origins are fanfiction I get excited for the author and give them a virtual high five. 

There are all sorts of fanfiction out there not just Twilight, and some authors who admire others have come up with some great original material of their own. 

Abigail Gibbs for instance is 18, and a huge fan of Twilight/Harry Potter and most recently FSOG. She wrote The Dark Heroine on Wattpad when she was 15 and secured a six figure book deal with Harper Voyager. It's not fanfiction but she was inspired to write her own story after reading the wonderful imaginary worlds and fictional characters created by others. You pick up a fictional book, you enter a world of make belief to escape from your own. It is harmless fun!

NB: These authors are all signed with different publishers. Most of these authors have had over 8 millions reads per book so build up your fan base and don't rush. It's not a race.